Journal Search

I've been combing through all my journals and drawing books searching for my next endeavor, my next challenge, my next series.   I'm been encouraged by others to do a series based on florals and it just doesn't seem exciting or stimulating to me...I tried to work up a few designs, nothing happened.  And then I tripped over this image of a sunflower.  What a happy face this flower has and it made me feel so at ease, which I need right now.  I had already pulled some images from my journals, ideas that I'd jotted down or drawn and some included the floral idea...and bingo......I had my next series idea....based on the sunflower.  A simple image of a simple flower sewing and embellished with seed beads and glitter in the middle...12x12 wrapped around stretcher bars...simple, clean and colorful.  So I instantly started on my first piece...the sunflower itself; it's  under the sewing machine needle right now, soon to be ready to be stretched......and I'll do a couple of others using the sunflower...and then I plan to move on to another flower everyone loves, the rose and more and more until I have about six in total to hang....KISS......Keep it simple, stupid!!!!!     From there I can move on to the other ideas of combining some abstract work with simple design and work toward some memorable work.  Suddenly I do see the light at the end of the tunnel I've been in and I'm feeling better about doing some fiber work.

While I was rummaging through my journal I ran across some "lists" I had made...and yes, I'm a list maker from way back...but these lists were interesting to me, especially with all the stress I'm going through as a caregiver to my husband.

"What gives me pleasure"
     *  Being lovey/dovey with Lynn
     *  hot tub soak (I miss our hot tub as I do love a good hot soak in water).
     *  grandchildren & my adult children
     *  shopping at a fabric store
     *  shopping in an art store...those are really the only two types of shopping I like to do.
     *  having my hair/scalp scrubbed at a salon..someone other than myself.
     *  stress-less days - stillness
     *  a good book
     *  bowling a good strong game
     *  rocky road ice cream
     *  popcorn and a good movie
     *  creating new work in my art studio

"Things that I regret"
     *  Never having an official wedding party - I eloped both times.
     *  That I couldn't convince my son to get a college education
     *  Not following through on my dream to own my own art gallery
     *  That Lynn & I don't have the ability to travel due to his health reasons
     *  that I allowed my Dad to control whether I went to college or not.  He didn't allow me to prove
         myself to myself...I had make my success the hard way...school of hard knocks.
     *  that I took my first husband back into my life after he decided to leave..I did it for my
         kids so they would have both of us in their lives............................and he hurt me deeply.

I'm sure there are more, but that is what was on my list.  Each of us have regrets of one kind or another..nothing can be done about them now..just know what they are and move on.

"I want to shine as the brightest light possible.  I may be 68, but I feel as if my "true" life is in the here and now.  My true self, the real me.  I realize my time is limited, so don't procrastinate."  LS

Need to find my MOJO again.

I've been working on some new ideas for future series...and I worked on a few floral pieces and it certainly didn't spark my interest...This piece is just the collage right now, needs to have the surface sewing and background movement...maybe I'll start working on that portion to see if it makes me more interested in creating more floral pieces.  It seems to be that it's been done before...but then it hasn't been done by me before and maybe with a little twist or change, I can personalize it a bit and not have the pieces be just flowers...maybe they can be flowers with a little pizazz...why can't leaves me pink or red or purple, why do they always need to be green.

I've also started some new surface designs using animal silouettes and thinking of creating more pieces like my gekcos.....I still love this p ieces of work.

I love the way it moves around the surface....maybe smaller versions of this piece as well as other types of animals forms....I'm mainly thinking about work that I can put in the gallery and sell at a lower reasonable price....

I hate that as an artist I am thinking about the costs of a piece of work before I even create it...I should be just creating and if I decide to put it in the gallery, then and only then is when I should be thinking about the price...at least that's the way I used to do things and I felt better about it then, rather than now.

I'm struggling to get my groove back....need something to kick me in the gut and get me excited again about doing my work.  I believe that all my other responsibilities right now have pushed my creative side out a bit and I need to get that back.  I guess I'm going to have to make some mistakes along the path to finding myself and my creative side again.  Thank goodness I have a healthy inventory of work to fall back on while I take this time to rethink my goals.